Part I - The Fantasy
I’m sitting here waiting for my eggs and coffee to arrive cuz I hate doing dishes so I rarely cook. So I placed my order, and crawled back into bed with my Hitachi. I opted for what I've opted for for several weeks now - I’m edging my crush of the month as he sits on the couch. He loves when I deep throat his big head. I want to edge him all afternoon so he knows how much I like him. And I looooove how wet & sloppy my mouth gets whenever a pretty cock is inside it. He’s asking to cum but I remind him that he said we could do what I wanted this time and he rolls his eyes at me in pleasure and in pain. He tells me how it’s torture and I say that it won’t be… in the end. I continue sucking his cock fervently, accumulating more and more saliva, spit and slobber from the back of my throat as I literally suck him with my throat, wishing I could swallow, and my tongue having very little to do with it except in that it guards him from my teeth. When my mouth can no longer contain it’s contents, I come up for air and drop my enormous spit load all over his cock and balls, then moving my mouth down to his balls and my hands up around his hard cock. I stay there for a little while sucking each one individually then both at the same time, before flicking the sack with my tongue quickly then slowly. I give them one final kiss before moving back to his shaft, now choosing to use my tongue. I suck his cock up and down, curling my tongue around the shaft like it’s a gentle creature that needs protection from my teeth. I feel like I’m consuming him as his flesh moves from my tight lips to my open throat, with my firm hand following right behind. He asserts one more time that he’s not going to last if I continue so I decide to tease him with my tits instead, wrapping them around his sloppy genitals as I reassure him that it’ll only be a little while longer. He moans in angst and promises me that it’s not possible. I give him a little smile and move down one last time to take him down my throat, stroking him this way without breathing or gagging until I know he’s finished. He begins to cum as usual, the way most orgasms begin, but his continues to grow deeper and stronger, as he pumps more and more cum into my throat. He holds my head down by my hair forbidding me to move, as groans progressively louder til he’s reached a higher pitch. His body shakes as his sensations reach new depths previously untouched and unbothered. It moves thru him and thus thru me, forcing my hands upward in worship of his body. I press myself up and start to clean what mess I’ve made that has slipped out of my mouth.
Later on that night, we lie in bed naked. He’s aroused again and looking for more head. This gently turns me on, knowing how messy and sloppy things are bound to become. With some reluctance, I roll over and move down the bed to find his cock waiting for me. I lick all of his parts, getting them ready for my throat and then I suck it as I did before, enjoying every inch of him. As I become more aroused, I devour it more feverishly, dropping my bundles of spit down from above then swooping them back up again with my hands before playfully showing him the streamers as I stare at him from below. I do this a couple more times before taking it back to deepthroating. With his hand he quickly grabs the side of my face and slips his thumb into the corner of my mouth. He rubs my wet cheek then gives me a swift slap across the face and tells me to come up and ride it. Eager to let go of some of this tension, I climb on top of him and run my hips back and forth massaging his big wet tip along my g-spot. I’m so wound up, I ride him thinking he’ll actually let me cum, but before I can get close he sits up, pushes me off, and commands me to keep sucking him. I do as he says and retreat back to my original position with a denied look in my eye but also with a glimmer of hungry desperation. I take it out on his cock, hoping he’ll give me more if I suck it better this time. Once again, just as I’m about to lose myself in the pleasure of it all, he forces me to come up and ride him once more. I move towards him but he slaps me away, indicating that he wants to watch my ass ride it in reverse. I do as he says and turn around on it. I ride it, grind it and bounce on it so excitedly that my hand reaches for my clit in hopes that he won’t notice. I think I’ve gotten away with it and I look back to see the man who makes my pussy feel this way. My eyes burn with pleasure for him, I ride him faster and deeper, hoping he feels what I feel. Within an instant, he sits up and pulls my hand away from my pussy. He slaps it and begins to play with it. He aggressively tells me that it’s his pussy. I’ve never understood this statement, nor have I ever cared for it. But right now, it’s all I want to hear. He shoves me off him and bends me over. Pulls my hips close to him and rubs the tip from my ass to my clit. With one hand he rubs his cock around my asshole, using spit, sweat and everything else to squeeze the tip in. With the other hand he readies me for what he’s about to do by squeezing my ass so hard, I barely feel him as he shoves his dick deep inside me. My hands pry at the sheets as my head searches for someplace safe. But as he gives it to me again and again, the pain quickly turns to pleasure and the flight morphs into submission. I spread my ass with my hands, begging him for more. He pulls me up by my hair and wraps his other hand around my throat. He stakes claim once again to my pussy and to my ass. He smacks my pussy so hard, I gasp in pain. But I don’t try to stop him because I love the way the sting sizzles thru me. He tells me it’s his pussy. “This is my fucking pussy” he says, over and over again. He slaps my ass and tells me it’s his ass. He slaps it so hard that it makes me cringe but I won’t stop it because I love the way it burns. Now he’s smacking my ass and slapping my pussy, holding me by the throat and the hair, all whilst telling me I’m his so closely in my ear that the pain and the burning and the lack of control all fall to the backdrop of him claiming me for himself. I stay here for a second before gently opening my eyes, my mouth beginning to quiver as my orgasm lets itself out of me, taking my breath away with it.
Part II - The Contemplation
When I was finished, I laid there in bed for a moment, gasping for air. I've been masturbating a lot lately but that was by far the best one I've had in a while. I got out of bed and cleaned my fingers and my pussy, looked myself in the eyes in the mirror and wondered where the hell that came from. Since when do I like people telling me I belong to them? I’m not even sure that’s possible. I thought back to the sex I had yesterday. It was pretty weird how much I liked him slapping me in the face. That's the one thing I always tell performers not to do to me on set. “You can do whatever you want, just don’t slap me in the face.” I started a load of laundry then began to pace a bit in my kitchen, still waiting for my eggs and coffee and wondering if this marks the dawn of my newer, more mature self. Youth is kinda overrated. You’re lost and confused. But you’re hot and fun, so people put up with it. I just want something a little bit more profound for my life in this decade. And trusting people more might have something to do with it. Rough sex might be a weird way to go about this but the types of people I’m into are rarely people who choose to assert dominance just for the sake of asserting dominance. Power over people is not something I desire, and I don’t appreciate that desire in others either. Many men have tried and failed, thinking I’d be woo’ed by their strength when in reality all I saw was a common insecurity. A mutual exchange of control has a certain ring to it, and a far more meaningful one at that. So here I am now, eggs and coffee and fruit and toast all long gone, and I’m still wondering how, and who with, to nurture this time in my sexuality so as to bring joy to areas of my life previously ignored for lack of awareness and possibly circumstance.
XOXO
Natasha